Standby.

Worried. Doubtful. Disappointed.

I feel bad.

My boss unexpectedly huddled me for a one-on-one talk last Monday. In two months time, my stint as a project employee will cease and as the approval from the US office for an additional headcount in our team is still pending (so I can assume a full time position), possible scenarios in the next months will be like these:

1. contract is extended indefinitely..meaning, I won't still be having the hefty pay, benefits & allowances my colleagues are enjoying..and worse, still..no leave benefits..arrgggh! I'm tired of this "no work no pay" thing!

2. if "this" particular colleague voluntarily or "involuntarily" leaves...well and good, I assume her full time position then I'm here to stay.

3. if, the contrary of #2 happens, then I guess...it's a bye-bye move on me.

:sigh: Isn't it annoying when your future is so absurd..that you yourself can't help & can't do anything but just wait until it happens? Isn't it disappointing that you can't control your own future? If asked, I'm not ready to move out, yet. I'm loving & enjoying my work here. I'm enjoying my colleagues' company & their wackiness as well as the perks and advantages of working here. (Perks: read as frequent "free" food trips, flexible working time, proximity of my workplace to Paul's..as in magkatapat lang kami ng building, the 10-minute-tricyle-ride from home to office which by default means cheap fare & no traffic to hurdle, ultra fast internet access though I can seldom surf leisurely because of the workload, etc).

Honestly, I'm not in my best spirits lately because of this mind-bugging issue. The reason why I also was not in the mood to blab here. As much as I try to be hopeful and optimistic, can't help talaga but to worry, feel disappointed and at the same time, ask myself..is there anything I can do RIGHT NOW?

Yep..there is..stand-by na nga lang muna ako. :(

:sigh:

Ok guys, need your help..refute my thoughts please. :)