"We Work to Live...not, We Live to Work..."

More than a month has already passed since I quit my job and up to this day, can't help but feel dampened whenever I hear "making great things possible" commercials on tv, heavyhearted whenever I receive text messages from former colleagues and disheartened whenever a close friend at work I left behind ignores my texts and don't reply...she did once but her reply seemed unusually hers. Yes, she's mad at me and I felt that days after I tendered my resignation.

My resignation and my last days at GT were definitely hard ordeals for me to overcome. I may have been suppressed for more than a year with so much work, stress and pressure but resignation initially didn't enter my mind despite having my family and Paul encouraging me so many times to quit. I assumed the position of a head cashier 6 months after I got hired without being duly coached and without proper turnover leaving numerous prepaid stock variances to resolve. Worked for 12-15 hours almost everyday. Didn't even have a few minutes to sneak from long queus of paying clients to have a "wee-wee" break. Endured inconsiderate remarks of irate customers. If manpower is lacking one is left with no choice but to take a 10-15 minute lunch break from which I mastered the art of engulfing and swallowing of meals with just a few bite and munch. Even on rest days, we were requested to relieve other centers' cashiers who are on leave. There was one time I was asked to report on a rest day even if I was burning with fever just to supply the info my boss needs for his meeting where in fact, the said data can be obtained from the Manager-in-Charge who has the copy of cashier's daily reports. Some inconsiderate colleagues would even add to the pressure pa with their nagging questions where in fact they can obtain the answer by themselves. And worst, even if they see you with a haggard face and drowsiness clouds your face from too much workload, they don't even bother to help. How pity me and my co-cashiers were whenever we see them goes home promptly at five pm while we were left and stay until 8:30 pm on the average. I couldn't even file freely my vacation leaves since no one could relieve us. GT is on freeze hiring for months while so many cashiers resign thus leaving add'l workload but undermanned. For months after getting married, Paul and I experienced eating daily our dinner at the office with some paperworks on the side. And Paul falling asleep after waiting for hours at the office while I finish my work. We wake up early and suffer the MRT commuting ordeal in the morning and goes home late at night and doze off immediately. Isn't that nice to start your newlywed life? How can we have a baby with that routine?

Even before we got a new center head, I already raised our concerns and hoped they'd take action on these. Being the head cashier, I told him that we are all demoralized and exhausted. Months passed and even before he transferred into a new center, nothing happened. My teammates even contemplated if we threaten to resign baka sakaling gumalaw na sila. Barely days as a new center head, I already told Ms. C about our dilemma and blatantly told her I'm no longer happy with my job and our condition. She said, she'll see what she can do. Months passed again still nothing...In fact, it grew worse. We were really physically and emotionally stressed...and with the new VAT law implementation, we were mentally stressed. Still, I hoped and waited.

Another factor that bothered my mind was my pretty single close colleague who got pregnant accidentally. (Yeah...inunahan pa ko.) Honestly, she's one of the reason why I'd almost didn't tender my resignation. She's in despair and terribly troubled and I don't want to add pressure on her with my leaving. With that, I stayed muna and patiently endured everything...

I cried for weeks..I was praying that God give me a sign if it's time to go even if there's no other work to transfer to. And then He gave it. Sabi ko kasi "Lord, sige magtitiis pa ako with my work basta walang maging problem with my team and pag nagkaroon ng moment na magrift apart kami ng mga teammates ko..that's it! (which super di ko ma-imagine na mangyari dahil super close kami)..". March came and numerous problems poured in and it was aggravated by my co-cashier who rudely argued with me. Being her head, I called her attention on her recent work attitude (daily tardiness)...to my surprise, she rudely argued with me which is so unusual and with her personality di niya magagawa. She said she don't care if I'm her head and she don't care about her tardiness since she's about to resign na...for days she didn't talk to me and even took a leave with such a short notice...whoaa! That's it!

After successive nights of crying, after seeing Paul na nahihirapan coz he sees me na nahihirapan, after careful consideration of all the things they counter-offered me, after thinking na marami naman pala akong options outside Globe, I tendered my resignation. Most of my colleagues didn't fully understand the reason of my leaving but what the heck...I value more my health and my family. I want to have a baby na. If I was to be blessed with one, I don't want to deliver a frowning and stressed baby noh.

When I told my preggy colleague sadly that I finally tendered, she was quiet..she didn't want me to see her cry. She assured me she's not mad and that she's just sad kasi sa akin na nga lang daw siya kumukuha ng strength, iiwan ko pa. It tore my heart. I said I'm sorry but I got no choice. If only I can stay..pero that's the problem..di ko na talaga kayang mag-stay pa. I know it was not a selfish act. I may have turned her down pero di ko kagustuhan yun. It's just that one have to be sacrificed. I assured her naman na I'm still her friend and I understand what she feels kasi I also felt that when 2 of my colleagues left me when I just new. Weighing work and health/family life, I value more the latter siyempre. My husband and his family is more than supportive of my plans. Part time, my mom-in-law who owns a pre-school let me handled a one-on-one reading summer tutorial with a 5-yr-old kid. Paul's bro-in-law offered to help me get in at Napocor but just have to take my civil service exam on jul 30. Nightly, Paul and I would man our computer shop/rentals at home.

As of now, I'm enjoying being not a corporate slave for a while...simply put being a housewife. It's fun as I have all the time for myself and for my husband..sleep late or have a siesta, can go out easily, eat anytime I want, being able to watch noontime and kapamilya prime time bida shows, cook for Paul, do grocery, attend cooking and Photoshop lessons etc...a well-deserved break, indeed.

Yes it is fun and relaxing but it surely is depressing sometimes especially when pay day comes(oh which reminds di ko pa nakukuha final pay ko dahil pahirapan ang pagkuha ng clearance sa Globe)...and it's not easy for newlyweds like us who'd want to save as much the soonest time for: 1.) a house of our own 2.) just preparing in case I get preggy (which we hope it'll be soon) .

As they say, lahat may kapalit. You win some, lose some. But anyhow, Paul and I are doing well. Though minsan I feel frustrated for not helping him increase our savings..he's constantly reassuring me na it's not naman permanent, and just have to be patient. On another thought, I'd rather have this kesa naman sa may work ka nga, sacrificed naman ang health and family life mo. Dapat may constant balance lagi....

ergo..."We Work to Live...not, We Live to Work..."